Dennis Assaf
ON APRIL 12, 1945, THE WORLD LOST A GREAT MAN. PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT WAS JUST RE-ELECTED FOR AN UNPRECEDENTED AND NEVER TO BE DUPLICATED, 4TH TERM. ON THE SAME DAY, THE WORLD WELCOMED, IN MY OPINION AN EQUALLY GREAT MAN, MY “BIG BROTHER”, DAVID ASSAF III.
IT WOULD BE ANOTHER SIX YEARS BEFORE I WOULD BE IN HIS PRESENCE. AS THE “SURPRISE” ADDITION TO THE FAMILY OF DAVID ASSAF, JR, AND EDITH LORRAINE MCELROY ASSAF, I JOINED MY BROTHER DAVID AND ELDER SISTER EDNAMARY ON ST. PATRICK’S DAY 1951. I AM TOLD MY SISTER CRIED BECAUSE SHE WANTED A LITTLE GIRL. BUT SHE LOVED ME JUST THE SAME AND I WAS NOT TO REALIZE THE EXTENT OF MY BROTHER’S LOVE UNTIL YEARS LATER WHEN I COULD APPRECIATE SUCH FAMILY DYNAMICS.
I LEARNED EARLY ON THAT I HAD IN FACT 2 SETS OF PARENTS AS BOTH SIBLINGS ASSISTED MOM AND DAD IN REARING ME. ON EACH OF MY BIRTHDAYS, MY SWEET SISTER WOULD TAKE ME BY BUS TO DOWNTOWN NEW ORLEANS TO COMMEMORATE MY BIRTHDAY BY HAVING MY PORTRAIT MADE. MY BROTHER, EVER THE TINKERER AND “DO IT YOURSELFER”, WHO LEARNED THIS SKILL FROM OUR INDOMINATABLE FATHER TOOK ME UNDER HIS WING AND TAUGHT ME TO BE CURIOUS ABOUT THE WORLD AND HOW THINGS WORK IN IT.
DAVID TAUGHT ME HOW TO RIDE A TWO WHEEL BIKE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE SHOWED ME HOW TO MAINTAIN THE BIKE. WE WOULD DISASSEMBLE AND GREASE THE BRAKING SYSTEM. HE SHOWED ME HOW TO REMOVE THE WHEEEL BEARINGS AND PACK THEM WITH GREASE. WHILE THE BICYCLES OF MY FRIENDS PROBABLY NEVER ENJOYED SUCH MAINTENANCE DURING THEIR LIFETIMES, I WAS BUSY WEEKLY DISASSEMBLING THE INTRICATE BREAKING SYSTEM WITH ITS INTERLOCKING PLATES WHICH HAD TO BE REASSEMBLED IN AN EXACT REVERSE ORDER. IT WAS FUN. I ENJOYED THE MECHANICAL WORLD MY BROTHER SHOWED ME AND THIS CURIOSITY BECAME A LIFELONG HOBBY OF BUYING AND REBUILDING MOTORCYCLES AND MY INFAMOUS, 40-YEAR-OLD, UNFINISHED PROJECT OF RESTORING A 55 CHEVY. MY BROTHER, FEELING SORRY FOR THE SLOW PACE OF RESTORATION, TOLD ME THAT UPON HIS RETIREMENT, HE WOULD HELP ME FINISH THE CAR. SADLY, WE NEVER GOT TO FINISH THE CAR BECAUSE HE WAS NEEDED FOR MORE URGENT AND PRACTICAL MATTERS LIKE HELPING (AND TEACHING ME) ME TO INSTALL AND REPAIR WIRING AND OTHER ELECTRICAL PROJECTS AROUND MY HOUSE.
MY BROTHER COULD FIX ANYTHING. I MEAN ANYTHING! HE WAS UNDAUNTED BY THE MENTAL OR PHYSCAL CHALLENGES OF ANY PROJECT AND THIS INSTILLED IN ME THE MIND-SET TO SLOW DOWN AND ANALYZE THE CHALLENGE AHEAD AND PERSEVERE. LIKE OUR FATHER, HE CREATED HIS OWN BUSINESS AND DID VERY WELL. I LEARNED FROM THEM THAT IF YOU WANT SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH AND ARE WILLING TO STAY THE COURSE, THE COMPETITION WILL EVENTUALLY FADE AWAY.
HERE ARE A FEW SPECIAL MEMORIES I HAVE OF MY BROTHER AND IN NO PARTICULAR CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. THESE ARE JUST MEMORIES THAT HAVE CONTINUED TO POP INTO MY MIND ALL THESE YEARS.
• WE USED TO GO FISHING FOR PERCH IN CITY PARK LAGOONS. HE LIKED TO FISH AND OF COURSE HE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SERVICE AND REPAIR THE FISHING REELS
• WE WOULD PLAY TACKLE FOOTBALL WITHOUT EQUIPMENT ALL OVER LAKEVIEW. AND I REMEMBER HIM BUYING THESE SPECIAL CLEATS WITH 2 INCH FIBERGLASS METAL TIPPED SPIKES THAT INSTILLED FEAR IN THE OPPOSING TEAM. I REMEMBER ONE GAME WATCHING HIM PUT THE CLEATS ON AND SCAMPERING AFTER AN OPPOSING RUNNING BACK TWICE HIS SIZE AND BRINGING HIM TO THE GROUND. I LOVED TACKLE FOOTBALL BUT MY COURAGE WAS NOWHERE HEAR HIS.
• WE GREW UP IN A LITTLE COTTAGE ON MILNE BLVD IN LAKEVIEW AND WE SHARED A BEDROOM. THERE WAS A SMALL DESK WITH A LAMP IN THAT ROOM AND HE FAITHFULLY AND SEEMINGLY ENDLESSLY DID HIS HOMEWORK NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. THIS WAS ONE SKILL THAT I NEVER ADOPTED. BUT I ADMIRED HIS STICK WITH IT ATTITUDE.
• MY BIG BROTHER WAS MY PROTECTOR. I’LL NEVER FORGET THE TIME WHEN I WAS IN THE BACK YARD OF OUR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR AND A VISITING COUSIN OF HIS NAMED GORDON, WHO FOR SOME REASON HATED ME. WHENEVER I WAS IN HIS PRESENCE HE WOULD PICK A FIGHT. ON THIS DAY SURE ENOUGH, GORDON ATTACKED ME AND I YELLED OUT. WHEREUPON, LIKE SUPERMAN, HE EMERGED FROM HIS BACKYARD HAM RADIO SHACK, HOPPED THE FENCE AND PULLED THE BULLY OFF OF ME.
• ANOTHER TIME, WE WERE VISITING OUR GRANDMOTHER “LITA” WHICH IS SHORT FOR “ABUELITA” OR LITTLE GRANDMOTHER. SHE LIVED ON NAPOLEON AVENUE IS THIS OLD, DARK, SMELLY, DEPRESSING MANSION WHICH WE HAD TO VISIT ON A WEEKLY BASIS. ONE DAY, MY BROTHER AND I ESCAPED FOR A WALK OUTSIDE WHEN WE WERE APPROACHED BY A HOMELESS MAN WHO WANTED TO TAKE ME WITH HIM. SUPERMAN APPEARED AGAIN AND SCARED THE PERP AWAY.
• OUR FATHER WOULD OCCASSIONALLY TRAVEL TO CENTRAL AMERICA FOR BUSINESS AND WOULD BRING US BACK INDIGENOUS NATIVE INDIAN ARTIFACTS. ON THIS OCCASION HE BROUGHT DAVID AND ME THESE LITTLE HAND MADE KNIVES WITH THEIR OWN SHEAVES. DAVID, BEING 12 AND I SIX BEGAN TO MIMIC THE HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT OF THE COWBOYS AND INDIANS MOVIES WITH A KNIFE IN EACH OF OUR RIGHT HANDS AND OUR LEFT HANDS OPPOSSING. I WATCHED IN HORROR AS I, ON MY BACK IN A RECLINING CHAIR, AS HE TILTED HIS KNIFE AND SLICED OPEN MY HAND. I STILL HAVE THE SCAR AND THAT PRECIOUS LITTLE KNIFE.
• WE WERE FASCINATED BUY SLINGSHOTS AND WOULD FREQUENTLY SCOUT OUT A GOOD “Y” SHAPED BRANCH ON THE OAK TREE IN OUR BACK YARD TO MAKE THE SLINGSHOT. I STILL HAVE THAT TOO
• AS I PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, DAVID COULD FIX ANYTHING AND NOT ONLY THAT HE SOMETIMES HAD THE REPAIR PART WITH HIM. ONE HOT SUMMER HE AND HIS FAMILY WERE VISITING AT MY PARENTS HOME IN LAKEVIEW AND THE A/C UNIT FAILED. HE WENT TO HIS CAR, GOT HIS TESTING EQUIPMENT AND DETERMINED IT TO BE A FAILED START UP CAPACITOR. WHERE DOES ONE FIND A START UP CAPACITOR ON A SUNDAY? NOT TO WORRY, DAVID HAD THE PART IN HIS CAR!!! THE A/C UNIT WAS UP AND RUNNING IN NO TIME.
• HE WAS MY BASEBALL COACH. DURING THE SUMMERS, ST. DOMINIC CHURCH HOSTED CYO BASEBALL GAMES. I WANTED TO BE THE PITCHER FOR THE NEXT GAME AND MY BROTHER TOOK ME TO THE BACKYARD WHERE WE PRACTICED. WHEN THE GAME BEGAN AND THE PITCHER WAS STRUGGLING, DAVID, THE ASSISTANT COACH TOLD THE HEAD COACH THAT I WAS READY AND THEY PUT ME IN THE GAME. I DON’T REMEMBER THE OUTCOME!!! I HOPE WE WON!
• I HAVE MANY MORE MEMORIES BUT TIME IS LIMITED. BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITES DEALS WITH HIS COOKING PROWESS OR LACK THEREOF. HE WAS HOSTING A FAMILY BBQ AND WHEN I ARRIVED, KNOWING HIS PENCHANT FOR SERVING “BURNT” CHICKEN I APPROACHED THE PIT, OPENED THE COVER AND SAW WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN 15 POUNDS OF CHICKEN PARTS ALL PILED UP ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. THERE WAS NO WAY THIS WAS GONNA WORK. KNOWING HE CLAIMED NO PRIDE IN COOKING, I OFFERED MY HELP, HE ACCEPTED AND I REMOVED THE TOP TWO LAYERS OF CHICKEN AND PROCEEDED TO COOK IT IN STAGES. I KNOW HIS CHILDREN HAVE SPECIAL MEMORIES OF DAD’S BBQ SKILLS.
MUSIC PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN OUR HOUSE. GROWING UP WE WOULD HEAR CLASSICAL SYMPHONIES ON THE STEREO AND THE METROPOLITAN OPERA SATURDAY AFTERNOON BROADCASTS. BUT A REAL FAMILY FAVORITE WAS JOHNNY MATHIS. I REMEMBER DAVID, ONE DAY WALKING THROUGH THE HOUSE SINGING “MARIA” FROM WEST SIDE STORY. AS HE APPROACHED THE FINAL HIGH NOTE ON THE WORD “MARIA” OUR MOTHER, AS SHE WAS WANT TO DO UPON HEARING A PARTICULALRY BEAUTIFUL MUSICAL PASSAGE EXCLAIMED, “BEAUTIFUL, SING THAT AGAIN”
RECENTLY, WE LOST PAULA ASSAF, MY BROTHER’S BEAUTIFUL BRIDE AND A WONDERFUL MUSICIAN IN HER OWN RIGHT. I LEARNED AT THE FUNERAL THAT ANOTHER JOHNNY MATHIS SONG ENTITLED “GOOD NIGHT DEAR LORD” WAS FREQUENTLY SHARED IN THEIR BEDROOM AS THEY DRIFTED ASLEEP. MY BROTHER SHARED THAT SONG AT HER FUNERAL AND AT THE GRAVESITE FOR PAULA.
I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE ANOTHER MATHIS FAVORITE WHICH I SANG AT OUR MOTHER’S FUNERAL “MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS AND KEEP YOU”
